Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Road Trippin'!

What an interesting weekend that was!!

Last week was Mum's birthday, and at the start of the month, Dad organised for us to come down for a visit and surprise mum. Jason took Friday off so that we could leave in the morning instead of the night, to hopefully make it better on the kiddies.

How much longer could a trip take when you add a 2 year old and a 8week old? uhhhh about 2 hours!

It was shocking! It took us about 8 hours to get from home to Tamworth...

It was a great visit tho. I really miss my family, and i dont realise just how much until it is time to leave.

Garrett got to play with his cousins, and all the family got to meet Ande... (all bar Aunty Rachee. We miss you!!).

I hope it was a nice surprise for Mum, i only wish it could have been for longer!

Trip home was alot quicker... I sat in the back and fed Ande while he was still strapped in his car seat. Thank goodness for country highways! No one was the wiser... I had just finished a feed, when we pulled through a RBT station just outside of stanthorpe! Thankgoodness... The poor coppers would have got a little bit of an eye full otherwise! Dont worry, i was still wearing my seat beat too.

We are all home safe now, and counting down to christmas to do it all over again - well, we hope to anyway!

Photo taken by Jason :) His phone takes some good shots, eh?! The wagon in my brothers that Jason is picking up at christmas as a project car. There are some others i'll add when i can find them on the computer!

Heartbreak and loneliness...

Are there really words that come close to expressing the emotions needed when you loose a loved one? So far in my life i have been blessed to not loose anyone very close, and until yesterday I didn't even think how blessed i have been.

Yesterday a good friend lost her husband suddenly. I cant even begin to imagine the pain she is going through right now. I read a post in her blog just then that sent tears down my face instantly. She said she had slept for a couple of hours and when she woke up she had forgotten, and went to stroke his side, but he wasn't there. Oh my god what i would give to give him back to her.

A young life that ended way too soon.

I will appreciate every day more. Every second extra I get with my family I will cherish, because you never know when it could all be taken away.

I hope she knows I'm here for her whenever she needs me. I have no idea the extent of her pain, but I'm here in whatever capacity that she needs me in.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Ande Daniel - otherwise known as 'Minibum'

Every family would have nicknames for their kids... For some reason, Garrett became 'littlebum', so when Ande came along, J called him 'minibum' one day and it just stuck.

Ande Daniel was born 4th August, 2008 (2 years, 2 months to the day after his big brother!). Born by way of VBAC after 22 hours of labour. VERY hard birth. Not sure if it was because I had the c-section with Garrett, or just because it went on for so long... After 2 hours of pushing, i was passing out between contractions and he's heart rate wasn't recovering, so he was delivered with the help of vacuum extraction. His poor little noggin! It had a massive bruise and was pulled slightly out of shape from it. But he was delivered healthy and safe, and that's all that matters.

Throughout the pregnancy with Ande, I was constantly concerned that i wouldn't bond again with my child. I didn't feel as connected to Ande throughout the pregnancy like i had with Garrett. And i was concerned that my desire for a girl would trump all and i wouldn't bond like i wanted to. My mum kept telling me that it didn't matter what gender the baby was, when i had them in my arms, I wouldn't care. She was right. When Ande was placed on my belly, I was in love! Might have had something to do with the agony part being over and done with!! hahahha!

Little Ande is almost 8 weeks old now. He is mummy's little man this time. He doesnt care much for his Daddy *sniggers*... So we got one each! Maybe my bonding theory is right. Ande's bond swayed in my favour, where Garrett's swayed in Jason's...

I have had no trouble bonding with Ande. Maybe this is also what has allowed Garrett and I to become closer. The pressure is off now....

I love my little boys... precious gifts from God.

Garrett Nicholas... The boy who made me a mother...

My first born.

What a rude shock into the world of parenting ;)!

Garrett was born on Sunday 4th June, 2006 at 6.05am. Arriving by emergency c-section weighing in at 4110g (or 9lb 1oz for you old timers!).

They held him up over the curtain and my first words (and thoughts, they didn't get caught by the intelligence filter in my brain) were "Holy CRAP, he's huge!"... (thank goodness the intelligence filter kicked in before the first words could have been rude!). I honestly didn't believe that babies came out that big! All my my contact with newborns before this had been with small/average babies and my premature nephew. So with Garrett coming out at 9lb its no surprise i was caught off guard.

The pregnancy was a bit rough. I had issues with my heart and i got HUGE (that in itself should have been the indicator on his size!). But all in all, it wasn't too bad. I bonded really well with him while he was inside of me - too bad that wasn't the case after his birth.

This is Garrett at 3 weeks old. Admitted back to hospital, just 1 week after his due date with pneumonia, RSV and bronchitis. He was very sick, poor thing. On oxygen and being tube fed... Still managed to gain 500g that week, a sign of just how big he was going to become!

I think we are all taught to believe that pregnancy/birth/motherhood is always this glorious, joyous experience. Someone you'll never be frustrated with - a relationship always filled with love, and nothing but it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love Garrett with all my heart. I just never knew someone you could love so much, could send you so far around the bend you turn into a pretzel. We are constantly bumping heads. And to top it off, he has his fathers temper! YAY!

Its just sad that i didn't really bond with him until Ande was born. Its strange to think that a new addition to the family could improve our relationship so much. Maybe children have a limited bonding amount in their first couple of years... And it doesn't divide equally between the parents.... *ponders...* Jason has always been Garrett's favourite. Even as a newborn he would only really want me for feeds (if Jason could have lactated i would have been obsolete... i just looked up the spelling and got this meaning - gosh it fits well!)

Obsolescence is the state of being which occurs when a person, object, or service is no longer wanted even though it may still be in good working order. Obsolescence frequently occurs because a replacement has become available that is superior in one or more aspects.

Slowly but surely, my eldest and I are starting to connect more. Although I have a feeling that this relationship imbalance will stay through out his life... He is defiantly Daddy's little man!

Happy Birthday Nanny!

Its always sad at this time of the year. Within the space of 3 weeks, there is 4 birthdays in our family. Why is this sad? Well because I am interstate from them all (well, also in a different country to my sister at the moment toO!). I miss them at this time of the year. Birthdays are always such wonderful celebrated times in our family.

Today is my mummy's birthday. In case she doesnt want me mentioning her age, ill leave this blank, but its a very important one!

Mum, I hope you have a wonderful birthday today. Im sorry we are so far away and unable to celebrate in person with you.

You are such a great mum. I couldnt ask for a better one. I hate living so far away from you and dad! My little cubs think your a wonderful nanny too, and they cant wait to see you again!

Happy birthday mum!

Its fort building time!

Oh my goodness! My little man is growing up so quick!

Last night while i was giving the boys their baths, Jason was creating a special surprise for his little man. When Garrett got out of the bath and got dressed, he found this > in his room!

He had so much fun playing with Daddy in his first fort! Its amazing to think how quickly kids grow up, to think that he is only 2 years old, and he is already playing like this :D awwww - mummy can still remember him being lifted over the curtain after the Cesarean and saying "holy crap, he's huge!".... Time flys by so quickly, i know in no time flat he will be going to school, getting a job, getting married... *cry* Why cant time stand still so i can capture more of these moments!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Bekkity Boo returns!

With the acquisition of my grandmothers horn sewing cabinet, the sewing bug finally caught back up with me! After so long out of the game, it was actually refreshing (not demanding) to be back behind the machine again.

So far I've created new curtains for the front room. I got some gorgeous sunout denim blue jacard print fabric, and just run up some rod pockets. Makes a huge difference! Now every Tom, Dick and Hazza can't look up and see me walk through the house. Hopefully being such quality fabric, and having the backing on it will also help with the hot queensland sun through summer.

This week was Ande's turn. I did him up 8 new pocket nappies. He's been in cloth most of the time for the past 2 weeks. I had actually intended him on being a full time cloth baby from birth, but it never turned out that way... I gots lazy ;) even after i made him a full stash ready to go from birth!

So in his new collection he has rainbow minky, birds feather, MM fleece, Thomas the tank, a Mr. Happy nappy, hot rod flames (same as his big brother! Ill have to get a shot of them together with them on!) and some cute stars...

With Garrett now toliet training, the pressure for nappies has decreased. So at least i can still have some fun with it! (Having said that, Ande is in sposie now as he has a rash that needed some bepathan...)

Im really happy to be sewing again. Its a creative outlet i have really missed... Now to train the baby to sleep when the toddler does, and i'll be set!

Brothers...Buddys from the beginning.

Quite honestly, I'm loving being mummy to two boys. There is such joy in watching boys bond, even at this young age that my two are at now.

From the day that we brought Ande home (well, even earlier the day before when G met him for the first time in hospital), Garrett has been so very smitten with his baby brother. They are 2 years, 2 months apart (to the day!), and G has been playing every bit the part of big brother ever since.

Yesterday was 7 weeks since Ande was born, and nothing has changed. Garrett gives him lots of kisses, tuddles and high 5's. He also reserves his very few and far between clear words for his brother too... Like earlier today while i was doing a spot of gardening (*shock!*), Ande was in the bouncer near by and started crying... Garrett walked towards him and called out:

"Mum!" to which i replied "Yes?"

"Ande's Crying"

I couldnt help but smile. Garrett doesnt say much - well not alot that the average human would understand. But this sentence was clear as day.

It really melts my heart seeing my boys together. And to think all the worry i had during the pregnancy on how they would go together, and how i would bond with my new baby. I need not have worried. Having the two of them has changed me as a person - for the better.

I'm voting blue trumps pink... and i dont have to worry about teenage PMS!

Mothers of brothers, can i hear a 'w00t w00t'?


Ok, lets see how this Blogging thing goes.

I wonder if i have anything interesting to write about!

Here's my two boys. Left is Ande, my new little poppet. He is such a cutie - even when he chucks! and Garrett is on the right. He's mummy's big boy!

So this should do for testing... I promise ill write something more interesting soon!